April 20 is Husband Appreciation Day, a day for their partners to show how much their husbands mean to them. For many, that could be a challenge.

“It’s human nature to focus on superficial flaws,” says Dr. Noelle Nelson, a psychologist and author of Your Man is Wonderful: How to Appreciate Your Partner, Romance Your Differences, and Love the One You’ve Got (Amazon). “We aren’t able to step back, away from our fault-finding selves, to appreciate the basic qualities in our husbands that help build strong relationships.”

Nelson suggests that on Husband Appreciation Day, partners recognize the characteristics of their husbands that they often take for granted. Here are some:

• Basically honest
• Reliable (he does what he says he’s going to do most of the time)
• Trustworthy (if he says something is so, then most likely it is so)
• Responsive (he responds to the world about him appropriately, he participates in life and doesn’t just sit on the sidelines)
• Responsible (he takes responsibility for his thoughts and actions and is willingly accountable for both his successes and mistakes)
• Appreciative of other people including you and caring about their welfare

“Is he 100 percent, all the time perfect at these? No, but if he follows these characteristics most of the time, you have much to appreciate,” says Nelson. “Focus on what he’s doing right, not on what he’s doing wrong. Voice your appreciation. It shows his caring pleases you.  Of course, it’s a two-way street. Partners need to accept one another and provide an emotional climate in which good qualities can flourish.”